We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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