Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
