he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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