I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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