I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
