pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize