If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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