I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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