yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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