3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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