Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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