Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
