what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
