you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
