he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
