Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
