I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
