And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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