remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
