The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize