I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
