a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm always down for nudity.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
