I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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