I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
