3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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