I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
