i will never coherently bang her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
