i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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