It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
