Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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