Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
