I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is my gift to your gina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
