I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
