did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
