I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
