the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
