does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
