I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
