No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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