Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize