Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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