he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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