Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
