Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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