Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize