alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
