Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
