I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
