yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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