Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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