You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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