Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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