saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
