If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just invented taco cereal.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
