Screwed.edu
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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