I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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