i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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