I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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