How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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