You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I love you.
Bad choice
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
