I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
