it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
