Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
