Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
